"Eight down, four to go. I hope I make it!"

My last treatment was a dooooozy! I'm serious, a real gut-wrencher. Merle was brutal this last treatment, burning all my fingers and both my feet, making my nose bleed relentlessly ... he's mad at me for something, I don't know. And then Saturday, I tried to shake things up by not getting Aloxi and fluids but instead ingesting a bunch of under-cooked Chinese take-out. For.the.love. I've never thrown up as much or as violently as I did the days following this last treatment.
All that puking landed my sorry self in the hospital again. Joy rapture. I was able to talk my super nice nurse into letting me actually sleep, so that was nice. AND I only had to stay one day. Another nice point to make, yes?
The fluids I received in the hospital helped the innard-purging to stop, but I was still so sick for days after.
In fact, today is the first day I feel even semi-well. I went out with the hub. We went for a drive and bought my daughter a car. It was a nice day, aside from looking like Gollum and getting winded like I was 90 years old walking from the car to sidewalk.
Last Tuesday was my worst day to date. I actually prayed for death. I've done this before ... one time, and I don't think that time I really meant it. Tuesday was a different story. I've been so emotionally worn out, physically worn out, sick of being sick, etc. Laying there, needing a shower, needing to feel okay to get up, needing to be able to open my eyes, I had had enough. I prayed to my Heavenly Father to make it all stop, to give me peace ... and he did.
My phone rang and I actually heard it. It was K, my go-to nurse at my oncologist's office. I cried instantly when I heard her voice and she talked me through what I needed to do to get some relief. Believe me, whatever this woman tells me to do, I do it. She hasn't once told me to do something that hasn't worked. So, Wednesday I followed her instructions to a tee, and sure enough, I started to feel better. Thursday night was even better, and today even better than that.
K has become a third mom to me. I struggle to call my mom on days when I'm super sick, or my mother-in-law, for that matter. My mom is with me during every single treatment and it's wearing on her. She's with me when I'm in the ER and admitted to the hospital. All of my medical adventures are so taxing on her, I just can't bear to call her during our "good days" in between treatments.
And my mother-in-law has just finished treatment for breast cancer, just finished as in her hair is still growing in. I don't want to burden her because I worry that it might bring back memories of her struggles during treatment and she has a scan scheduled this week.
So, K was my saving grace on this particular day. I'm so so grateful that she called. She is knowledgeable and compassionate and what she says is the truth. Right before we hung up, she said, "You're so close. You can do it."
I hope I can, K. I really hope I make it!

Carry on,
~K

My current hair style. ;)