Two down, ten to go. I can do this?"

5 days post chemo treatment number two (of twelve), and I'm sitting here in a daze. My second round of chemo was a doozy, to say the least.

Accessing my port was a nightmare, only because something made me light-headed. My mom and I wonder if it was the strong alcohol cleanser used to clean my skin. I also wonder if she flushed my port to quickly. Either way, I nearly passed out. Luckily, my sweet mom was there to talk me through it. It was the worst dizzy spell I've ever had in my life.

Getting my chemo drugs wasn't bad at all because they administered Emend at the beginning of my treatment, instead of the end. And it wasn't bad because they haven't given me Avastin yet. I left the chemo clinic on Wednesday tired but not overly sick.

I did okay on Thursday, too. I was severely fatigued and unable to touch anything cooler than 70 degrees, but not sick. Friday was pretty much the same. My parents took me to have Merle (5FU pump) removed and so I could have some more fluids and anti-nausea meds administered. Friday night was basically a snooze fest.

Oh hello, Saturday. Thank you for beginning at 3 am with the pukes. I especially appreciate the pain in the right side of my face and upper back that won't go away AND the anxiety I've had at the thoughts of getting my first Neulasta injection.
I was the first patient to arrive at the chemo clinic Saturday morning, and for that I was very glad. Another bright spot--I was given enough fluids and anti-nausea meds before the port access was removed to make it home. And the Neulasta shot, IN MY STOMACH, didn't even hurt. I had those few, small victories going for me upon my return home.

Saturday evening, I was sick. Very sick. And I longed for my Emend. The anti-nausea regimen we tried on this chemo treatment did not work at all. Sunday was a blurry mess, too. I'd tried to get up. I wanted to get up. But I couldn't. The fatigue and nausea kept me in bed for the entire weekend. And most of Monday, and half of Tuesday ... Christmas Eve.

But now, it's Wednesday. And I'm up. I'm showered. I'm dressed. I'm feeling okay. I'm pacing myself because I will be up all day today ... if it kills me. It's 4:30 in the afternoon, and I've yet to sleep. Hope I can make it until 9pm, my bedtime.

I'm still optimistic. I had a brief moment of despair yesterday after reading my most recent CEA levels from my online medical records. My CEA has gone up. Panicked, I researched this scenario and have learned that often times at the beginning of chemo treatments, CEA values will flare. Especially since the cancer is dying. I also have to remind myself that everyone is different. My cancer adventure isn't going to be like anyone else's so I can't freak out about things I'm not informed about. 

Mental notes for my next treatment: 

~ Accessing and un-accessing the port isn't painful. Don't pass out. 

~ Neulasta will keep me safe. Stop worrying about it.

~ Ask what anti-nausea meds are being given BEFORE they attach them to your port.
~ Insist on Emend. Emend is going to save me from losing many more days to drug-induced slumber.

I'm going to get used to this. It can only get better, right?

Me leaving the clinic after treatment #2

Carry on,

~K