"The chemo made me do it."

Abstract art = NOT

See this picture? No, it's not an abstract piece of art work. Its my hair ... in my toilet ... for reals.
I'm not expecting to lose all of my hair, but I'd dare say that I've lost 50% of it. Yes, I have a lot of hair. Most people can't even tell that I've lost so much hair. But even so, dropping handfuls of hair in the toilet after each combing has been beyond disheartening for me. It's been kind of heart wrenching, actually.
So my mom suggested that I cut my hair, to lighten it up and make it more manageable. I've read online at a couple of my cancer support sites that shorter hair doesn't look as abundant as longer hair does in the garbage can, either.
So, I went to my hairstylist of a decade, M, and had her cut 5 inches of thinning hair from my frizzy mane.

Before

Sitting there watching her chop off curly locks of my dark hair, I suddenly said, "The chemo made me do it."
M laughed. So did the others in the salon. I chuckled but internally sighed. It's true. The chemo WAS the reason that I was cutting my hair. But I hated the feeling that I was in a roundabout sort of way forced into it, forced because it's too painful to watch it thinning away to nothing.
Standing in my bathroom after I had dried my newly-cut coif, I decided that even though the chemo inspired it, the new do was a nice change. I've had really long hair for years. The light, easy, soft length feels good.

After

My thoughts then went to my mother-in-law. Just finished battling breast cancer, her hair is finally starting to grow back. It's thick and beautiful now, but for months, it was gone. My thin, short hair suddenly became a reminder of how lucky I am in certain aspects of my treatment. I really don't want to lose my hair. I still might lose it. But I'm 100% certain that I'd rather be alive with thin or no hair then dead with long, flowing locks.

Regardless, I've decided that the statement, "The chemo made me do it," is going to work for lots of stuff, like when I forget important dates, lose my phone, spill dinner on me, or cuss. After all, it's partly true. Chemo is deeply embedded in my life right now ... whether I want it to be or not.

http://www.customblingapparel.com/category_20/Cancer-Sucks.htm

Carry on,
~K